Top / bottom: what it means
In kink, the top is the person doing the action (for example, tying the rope) and the bottom is the person receiving it. These describe what happens in a scene and are not the same as who holds authority; that is Dom/sub.
In practice
Top and bottom describe who is doing and who is receiving during a particular activity. They do not say who is in charge: someone can bottom while holding all the authority, or top while following instructions. Many people prefer these words because they describe action without implying a power dynamic.
Consent and safety
Roles describe what partners agreed to, not who matters more. Every role sits inside negotiated limits, a working safeword or signal, and the freedom for anyone to step out of the dynamic at any time. Real-life respect never switches off. For meeting someone new, see our safety tips.
Related terms
Learn more
This term is one of the questions in the Kink Glossary Quiz. Ten random questions, an explanation after every answer, and a 🎓 Glossary Grad badge for members who score 8 or more.
Browse all 46 terms in the Sparks kink glossary, or try the playful Freak Scale quiz.
General education for adults 18+, not medical or legal advice. Definitions vary between communities; when in doubt, ask your partner what a word means to them.