Negotiation: what it means
The conversation partners have before any play: what each person wants, what is off the table, how to stop, health and safety needs, and what aftercare looks like. Good negotiation happens sober, ahead of time, and with no pressure to agree.
In practice
A good negotiation covers what each person hopes for, hard and soft limits, safewords or signals, health considerations, and what aftercare looks like. Many people use a simple yes / no / maybe checklist to start the conversation. It is fine for negotiation to end with “not this time”. That is the process working, not failing.
Consent and safety
Consent tools only work when everyone agrees on them ahead of time, sober and without pressure. Anyone can pause or stop at any moment, and a “yes” last week is not a “yes” today. If something feels off, stopping is always the right call. For meeting someone new, see our safety tips.
Related terms
Learn more
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General education for adults 18+, not medical or legal advice. Definitions vary between communities; when in doubt, ask your partner what a word means to them.