Dungeon monitor (DM): what it means
A volunteer at a play party or dungeon who watches for safety and rule-following, steps in if someone calls a safeword that is not respected, and helps in an emergency.
Also called: DM.
In practice
A DM’s job is safety, not policing fun: they watch for rule-breaking, step in if a safeword is ignored, and help in an emergency. If you see something that worries you at an event, tell a DM or organizer. Note that on dating sites “DM” also means direct message.
Consent and safety
Community spaces run on discretion and consent. Do not out people, photograph them or share who attended. Ask before touching anyone, respect house rules, and remember that being in a kink space is never consent to anything. For meeting someone new, see our safety tips.
Related terms
Learn more
Test what you know with the Kink Glossary Quiz: ten random questions on consent, kink and ENM terms, with an explanation after every answer.
Browse all 46 terms in the Sparks kink glossary, or try the playful Freak Scale quiz.
General education for adults 18+, not medical or legal advice. Definitions vary between communities; when in doubt, ask your partner what a word means to them.